SEFASA

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A Fictitious First Person Account (AFFPA):

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In the Beginning I was appointed Project Manager in charge of setting up the Infamous Hijli Detention Camp (IHDC).

I wanted a strip of land sandwiched between a State Lowway and a Single Track Railroad. It is never easy to build high-security Jails without pucca access; after all tons of bricks, cement, steel and ropes are to be shipped to the site.

That is how my IHDC came up where it did. The Jail proper with its honeycomb of "single and double-sitter" Luxury Cells for the well-behaved, creepy "stand-alone" Solitary Cells for the naughty, a very temporary "hanging" Roof Garden for the very naughty, and dingy hovels for sharp-shooter-sepoys came up near the Hijli Railway Station that I built East of the Lowway; and palatial bungalows with lofty roofs (with outhouses for the servants and cooks) for the Chief Jailer and his minions, with the imperative Officers' Club, on its West.

When "Transfer of Power (ToP)" took place on the "Tryst with Destiny (TwD)" midnight after the White Jailer fled and the surviving inmates welcomed with garlands and "Promises-to-Keep (PtK)" pensions that were as broke as the Ten Commandments, I was given charge of converting the IHDC into the first and foremost IIT KGP.

I designed and built the Main Building with a high wall enclosing the IHDC, so that students can't escape once they are in, except when the Lofty Main Gate was open or scaled during the Famous Bangla Bundhs (FBBs). This covered a stretch between the Lowway and the Hijli Station. On the West of the road, the Chief Jailer's Bungalow served as the Director's Bungalow, but the Officers' Club stayed the Officers' Club since Faculty Members were recognized as Class I Gazetted Officers empowered to attest True Copies (TCs).

By and by I built several Hells (sorry, Halls) for students; and Quarters, Halves, Three-Quarters and Fulls for Faculty and Supporting Staff in the descending order: 'A' for Professors, 'B' for Assistant Professors, 'C' for Lowly Lecturers (LLs), 'G' for Sanitary Staff, 'H' for Technical and Administrative Staff, with lots of spare alphabets in between for comeuppances.

By and by need arose for Quarters for Senior Assistant Professors, Senior Lecturers and Senior Technical Assistants. Unfortunately however, a Professor of Tensor Analysis whose outlook was poisoned by subscripts and superscripts was appointed Chairman, Housing Committee. And we had to cope with B(^ 1), C(^ 1), H(^1) as nowhere else in the World (Math Profs are showy).

Such exotic nomenclature being outside the Morse Code, the Lightning Telegram conveying news of the long-awaited birth of a golden son (Sonoo) to poor gps went first to C-197 and then G-97 instead of C(^ 1)-97, causing so much heartburn that he bashed up his HoD like a blinded Calypso. RSS then proclaimed the working recipe for getting a golden son: "Bash up your HoD".

Anyway, the villageship came up entirely on the West of the Lowway, to the satisfaction of all; till it burst its seams and land was required for further expansion. Then the scrub jungle on the remaining part of the East Side (which was affectionately called "Dandakaranya") was slowly cleared and I built new Quarters of the same tensor nomenclature on its very outskirts.

These were truly charming and full of adventure as they were peaceful-coexistence homes to serpents, jackals, rabbits. owls. giant spidermen, turtle-snails, bandicoots and all species of wildlife save Man-Eating Royal Bengal Tigers displaced from Sunderbans.

And petty thieves, chain-snatchers, burglars, dacoits, thugs and lowway robbers had a field day till the residents of "Dandakaranya", fighting shy to call a spade a spade set up the Quixotic Venture:

"South-East Fringe Area Security Association" (SEFASA), more of which later.

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Tailpiece: SPK rang up and was telling me that my fond Campus is beset by Dengue fever; and was wondering what the correct pronunciation was: 'Dengyoo' or 'Deng'.

This reminded me of the joke of my eons at KGP:

Professor: The purpose of the outboard motor is to boost torqyoo

Frontbencher: Sir, it is torq!

Professor: It was a slip of the tongyoo

Frontbencher: Sir, it is tong!

Professor: Such nit-picking leads only to resentment and piqyoo

Frontbencher: Sir, it is piq!

Professor: Shut up and don't arg!!!

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My son tells me it is pronounced 'Dengee' in his Office.

Like torkee, tongee, pickee and argee {;-}

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